We Wait...

Tuesday, July 31: We don't hear from the doctor's office. Dayton mentions that his grandson is playing in a big tournament that afternoon, and I say, "Go! There's nothing you can do here. Go!" So he does.

My Mom calls and stops in for the afternoon. It's the first time we've seen each other since this started. Of course we both cry. She and I are more than mother and daughter, we are good friends, too. It's such a precious thing to spend the afternoon together, just the two of us, well, and Geronimo. We sit on the couch with the pup between us and talk. Talk about her cancer experience years ago, talk about what I'm going through, talk about life. I know she's scared. We lost my Dad to cancer less than two years ago. But he refused treatment. I'm not doing that, I'm doing everything I can to fight.

I do get a little cramp while she is there, but luckily it is minor. I just stretch out on the floor for 10 minutes, then I'm ready to sit up again. We go out to dinner, just the two of us, and talk some more. It is so relaxing to be with my Mom. When she finally heads for home, I feel so much more comfortable spiritually.

Dayton calls, the grandson's team has won their afternoon game and is playing again at 7:00 p.m. He's staying for the late game. I'm so happy he went. He needs to do normal stuff, too. It's so much harder for him without having the big support network that I do.

After Mom leaves, I make one phone call. Susie is an oncology nurse, the wife of one of Dayton's business associates. She heard about me, and said she'd love to talk. So I call her, and she is absolutely terrific. She comforts me, tells me what kinds of questions I should be asking, talks about some treatment options, talks about recovery. I want to meet her in person, already I feel she is my friend.

By the time Dayton comes home, Geronimo and I are curled up together in bed. "Did they win?" I ask drowsily. "Nope, they lost, but I'm glad I stayed." We hold each other for a moment, then I turn back over into sleep.

Wednesday, August 1st. Dr. B's office calls. "Just to remind you about your appointment tomorrow at 10:00 a.m." I'm a little confused, I thought that was the appointment we had changed to last week. She checks with the nurse, who calls back later in the afternoon. "Dr. B would like you to keep your appointment tomorrow to go over all the test results and answer your questions." OK, that's fine. We'll be there.

I go out and do errands around town today. It feels good to drive my car, and do normal stuff. Post office, oil change, groceries. Nothing special. When I get back home, and start carrying up the groceries, my neighbor comes running out. "Don't be carrying all that, let me give you a hand." I laugh at her. "Sherry, I'm not sick, I just have cancer."

Two mild days. I can live like this if I have.