Another "Normal" Weekend

Saturday/Sunday, July 28-29: "Try to live your life as normally as possible," Dr. B urged us. So we spent the weekend on the boat, as usual.

But it wasn't normal. How could it be normal?

Dayton had boat business stuff to do Saturday, as normal. I had storytelling business stuff to do, as normal. That took most of the afternoon. When Dayton got back, we untied the boat and went off to one of our favorite anchorages. Like normal, we grilled hamburgers and boiled sweet corn for dinner. Like normal, we watched the stars dance for a while before going to bed.

But it's not normal to wake up in the middle of night in severe pain. It's not normal at 2:00 in the morning for me to be curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed, sobbing and screaming, "WHY ME??? IT'S NOT FAIR!!!!!"

I no longer have a normal life.

Things are better on Sunday. I take my kayak out and paddle around for a while. It's good to get away - away from Geronimo's whining, away from Dayton's concerned looks, away from everything. But I can't stay away for very long. For one thing, it's just too darn hot! But for a little while, I feel like I've run away from life.

We head for home late Sunday afternoon. There's a Taco Bell on the way, we stop to pick up dinner. I walk in, place my order, walk back out to keep Geronimo company - it's hot we left the car running with the air conditioner going. And halfway out the door I get hit with yet another jolt of pain. Dayton has to clear out the back seat of the car in a hurry so I can lay myself down. I claw through the bags to find my Vicidin bottle and swallow another pill. The pharmacist said to use them sparingly, try to only use them at night, but I can't wait for night, I can't wait for anything except for the pain to stop.

When it does finally ebb, I sit up and eat my fajita. Just as if life were normal.